On one side you have ‘living in the moment’, a ‘satisfier’ mindset, having enough, being content with the present, and being mindful of the illusion of self. On the other side, you have a growth mindset, becoming 1% better every day, productivity hacking, and a stoic promise to project virtue to the world when it is in your control.
The paradox between these two mental states is evident in many philosophies. Seneca1-2, Marcus Aurelius3-4, Epictetus5-6 – all of them could be accused of apparently contradictory beliefs.
Can you feel you have enough but still want to strive to get more or become better? Is this a cognitive dissonance, an oxymoron, or just my superficial misunderstanding of an absolutely achievable state of “maximizing satisfier” (in reference to “satisfier” vs “maximizer” categorization in the book “Paradox of Choice” by Barry Schwartz)?
I have been struggling with this question for a while. For me, it is the biggest contradiction of stoic philosophy and worldview. And recently, this dilemma flared up again. With varying levels of directness, it was scraped and reinvigorated by a number of podcasts. I hope I will do it justice by summarizing all of those perspectives in the following statement: starting from the stable foundation (mindfulness, living in the present, etc.) allows you to grow better/in a more sustainable or enjoyable way so you can get shit done. And I see a lot of practical value in that. I even see how it can be implemented by a person as a somewhat synergistic strategy for living a good life.
But I think it still describes a divided mind. A mind that IS but still WANTS. Is it possible to live in this state of mind while truly representing and respecting both sides? Or is this a never-ending tension in the mind, a balancing act of the goals, a delicate equilibrium between BEING and WANTING is the best we can do? Before we try to answer this question, I think we need to deal with the first obvious ‘solution’: why not just choose either one or another and have a coherent or ‘unified’ mindset? Can you even choose this?
I will cut to the chase. Firstly, I do not believe you can choose to have a unified mind. You can have a unified mind, but you cannot choose to have one. If you already see the benefits of both, personal growth and the concept of ‘enough’, you will struggle to let one of them go. They both have clear psychological advantages as well as strong reasoning behind them which is so widely documented and written about that I will not spend time repeating them here. Maybe that is why even the philosophy giants just rolled with the paradox of championing both views instead of addressing the contradiction between them directly (or maybe I just have not come across this argument yet). But what if you either still have a unified mind or if you somehow managed to sacrifice either of two views to be reborn with a unified mind? I would argue that even this superficially-attractive simplicity of a unified mind inherits at least some biological and psychological trojan horses. Hedonic adaptation and regret stemming from accumulating opportunity costs present ongoing challenges for maximizers and achievers. On the other hand, satisfiers and individuals who find contentment in having “enough” face the arduous task of establishing their self-worth beyond material possessions. They also contend with the inherently competitive nature and the ingrained “prepper-mindset” that once played a vital role in our survival as animals. It is easy to see how more money, more friends, and more stuff create an illusion of filling that black hole of fear engraved into use by evolutionary success. So I would argue that neither mindset is baggage-free. More importantly, often we have any particular mindset not due to a conscious choice (and, critically, trade-offs) we made but because of passive drifting in the ocean of life, which makes those views fragile in the long term.
So if a unified, contradiction-free mind is not something you can necessarily choose or maintain, what about a divided mind? A mind that is but still wants. Does it suffer from even more friction? Can it be true to itself of actually living by both objectives in a stable state? And even if a potentially stable state exists, is the cost of a divided mind worth the benefits of living by both principles of self-improvement and having enough?
I think it is clear that a divided mind will also have tension (the clue is in the name). But I do not think it has to have any more friction than a unified mind (which, as we have seen, is still infested with psychological side-effects of evolution). Just like the only (sustainable) solution for intrusive thoughts is being mindful of them (*cough* meditation *cough*), so is the case for these contradictions of the divided mind. The contradiction becomes a facet of personality with the right framing.
As for the benefits of having both mindsets, I will leave those for the readers’ experiencing- and remembering-self to discover.
- ”It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
- “We should every night call ourselves to an account: What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abate of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.” OR “Associate with people who are likely to improve you.”
- ”At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself, As a human being I have to go to work. Why am I complaining if I’m going to do what I was born to do – the things I was brought into the world to do? Is this really what I was created for – to snuggle under the blankets and stay warm? But, you say, it’s nicer here. I see, so you were born to feel nice, is that it? Not to do things and experience them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees all going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order as best they can? And you mean you’re not willing to do your part as a human being? Why aren’t you jumping up to do what your nature demands?”
- “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking”
- “One of the best ways to elevate your character is to emulate worthy role models.”
- “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”